"I'm Not the Only One": How Ukrainian Women in Lithuania Are Learning to Start With Ten Minutes
A psychologist advises women living abroad to stop fighting procrastination with willpower and instead shrink the task to a size they can begin.
Tetiana, a participant from Vilnius, wrote to the organizers after an online session: "I have hope that I might actually make it to the pool."
It was not a grand pledge to remake her life. It was a willingness to take one real step, and the organizers say that kind of readiness was the most important outcome of a conversation about why people put off what matters.
On Sept. 8, the Lithuanian Refugee Council held an online meeting titled "How Do I Start Doing What I Keep Putting Off?" as part of its Volunteers Everywhere (VolEver) project. It was led by Kateryna Berest, a practicing psychologist with a master's degree in psychology who works with women living abroad.
The event was more than a lecture. Participants talked about what lies behind the phrase "I'll start tomorrow": learning Lithuanian, exercising, going to the pool, professional training, work tasks and taking care of themselves. For women who juggle work, family and adjustment to a new country every day, starting is especially hard. Worry for loved ones and a chronic shortage of inner strength make it harder still.
Not Laziness, but Something Else
The central idea was simple: Procrastination is not always laziness. Behind it can be fear of failure, exhaustion, uncertainty, a task that feels too big, or the absence of quick, visible results.
So Ms. Berest did not tell participants to pull themselves together. She suggested changing how they approach the start of a task, and she offered several tools:
Shrink the task to the smallest possible first step.
Use the 10-minute rule.
Don't wait for perfect motivation.
Treat a new activity not as a test but as an interesting experiment.
Decide not only what to do but also the exact day and time.
Attach a small new action to a habit already part of the daily routine.
In practice, that might look like this: Instead of a vague "I need to learn the language," try three new phrases in a week. Instead of promising to "exercise regularly," lay out workout clothes or look up the schedule for the nearest class. And instead of waiting for a surge of energy, give the task just 10 minutes.
"Procrastinating Is Normal"
Liliia, from Visaginas, called the 10-minute rule the most useful tool of the session. Just as important to her was another realization: "I'm not the only one, and procrastinating is normal."
Tetiana summed up the meeting in three words: "Interesting, ecological, professional." A participant from Klaipeda took away a different thought: "To live here and now."
Feedback suggested the format meets a real need. Participants rated both the session and its practical value 4.75 out of 5, on average. Women who attended and filled out the survey said it helped them considerably in understanding the causes of procrastination and gave them concrete tools. All of them said they would like to join similar meetings in the future.
What Comes Next
Participants have already proposed topics for follow-up sessions, including adapting to life abroad, frustration, discovering one's abilities and talents, emotional resilience and finding joy in life again.
A new online lecture with Ms. Berest is planned for October under VolEver. The organizers said the topic, date and registration details would be announced soon.
The project is co-financed by the European Union.
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